So why the big fuss over Heinze? Why is Benetiz so desperate to attaining his services? Thats a simple one. He has spent his summer making sure every position in his 11 has at least a cover. And yes, there is cover in every area except for that missing jigsaw puzzle, the leftback. Heinze is well known to be a tough, rugged, insane fullback who has become an integral part of the Argentinian squad. Benetiz first noticed his power when he did the sandwich tackle on Fernando Morientes.

This involves a ‘clamp-like’ move that renders the striker no hope of mobility which in turn creates a sense of confusion and making the player so demoralized, he chooses to feint injury with a “Benetiz! I give up la! I don’t want play oredi la! I wan go back Premeria Pussy Liga la!” attitude.

So Liverpool has eventually lost the race for Heinze’s signature and what a loss it was…. right? Well .. not exactly. Step up Alvaro Arbeloa, one of the many latinos in the squad. He is a right footed player and an unknown in this soccer world. Who the hell is he? fuck this blog post la I am not oging to explain but all I can say is.. he contained Ronaldhino during our CL match …. and most importantly he looks like Enrique Uglysias.

On answering his 1st question in his 1st press conference on his thoughts about his future in Liverpool. “I can really be your hero you know?” – No.17 Alvaro Arbeloa